Raw Recap 08.03.09

Raw Recap from Uncasville, CT:

Lillian Garcia introduced Raw's special guest host, Jeremy Piven. Piven came driving out near the ramp in a car, then got out to slap hands with fans. Piven went back to open the car's trunk to let out a guy dressed as a pimp. The pimp character who Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole said was Dr. Ken from the Hangover movie, started throwing dollar bills out into the crowd as they went down to the ring. The two introduced each other to the crowd, then Piven ran up the ramp to let pyro explosives go off.

As Piven was announcing tonight's matchups, The Miz came out to interrupt. The Miz asked Piven if he was having a good time making a mockery of the show. Piven reminded Miz that he was on a show where they all drank adult beverages and fell asleep in hot tubs. Piven kept calling Miz "Les Miz" to mock him. The Miz eventually told Dr. Ken to shut up and then ordered Piven to schedule a match for him against John Cena. Miz started to try to bully Piven, but just then Cena's music hit and Cena came down to the ring.

Cena told Piven that last week he defeated Miz in 2 minutes, so Miz isn't all that good. Cena hyped up Piven's new movie, and said Piven needs to make the Miz match interesting tonight. Cena said people need to remember that pive delivered "The Goods". Piven said since Miz seems to be trying to hide a lot from Cena lately, that tonight he'd face him in a Lumberjack Match. Then Piven started to add stipulations. First that if Miz loses, he was banned from Summerslam. Next, if he lost he'd be banned from Staples Center in Los Angeles. And finally, if Miz loses to Cena, he's banned from Raw, forever. Miz was rattled as he left the ring, while Cena, Piven and Dr. Ken chanted "na na na na hey hey hey goodbye".

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The Raw Rewind showed footage from last week's Beat the Clock match where Evan Bourne pulled off the upset pinfall win against Jack Swagger, preventing him from advancing to Summerslam.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger managed to take control of things late in the match after delivering a vicious running boot to Bourne's face. From there, Swagger delivered the Gutwrench Powerbomb to finish him off. After the pinfall, Swagger continued to punish Bourne, doing several splashes after running to the corner, then splashing onto Bourne. Swagger got ready for another Powerbomb, but MVP came rushing to the ring to prevent it, causing Swagger to leave.

Winner: Jack Swagger wins via pinfall over Evan Bourne.

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When Raw returned they revisited last week's appearance by Shaq as the guest host for Raw. ESPN's Sportscenter picked it up for highlights. Shaq ended up booking a match between Jericho/Big Show & Cryme Tyme, and made himself the special guest enforcer. During that match, Show ended up going in the ring illegally and attacking Cryme Tyme repeatedly. The bell rang for the DQ, and Shaq eventually got into the ring with Show. The two men stared each other down before locking on chokeslams on each other. Finally, Cryme Tyme ran over to kick Show, breaking it up. Shaq ran and shoved Show down, causing him to go out of the ring. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler told fans to log on to WWE.com to vote who would win a match between Big Show & Shaq.

Backstage, Jeremy Piven was schmoozing with some of the divas on a couch when his assistant Dr. Ken came up acting silly. Piven stood up to tell him to switch up his role for Mohegan Sun, and then suggested he go one on one with Big Show. As Dr. Ken was joking around, all of a sudden Big Show was in the office standing behind him. Show asked Piven to bring Shaq in tonight so he could humiliate him. Piven said to forget about him and focus on going to the next level. Instead, Piven booked Show to take on Kofi Kingston for the US Title tonight.

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When Raw returned they showed a clip from Piven's new movie "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard".

Mickie James & Gail Kim vs. Jillian Hall & Beth Phoenix

Mickie James was pretty beat up but managed to escape to tag in Gail Kim. Kim had control against Jillian, until she pulled her down into the bottom rope. Gail recovered but Jillian elbowed her to the corner. Jillian tried her handspring move to splash Gail, but Gail moved away. With Jillian stunned in the corner, Beth made a blind tag in. Kim set up for a kick move on Jillian, but Beth came in and clubbed Gail down from behind. Beth then did her finisher to win it.

Winners: Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall win via pinfall over Mickie James & Gail Kim.

Cole and Lawler revisited HHH's Beat the Clock match last week against Cody Rhodes. Dibiase appeared on the apron as distraction which prevented HHH from beating the clock.

HHH was shown walking on his way out to the arena for the next match.

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Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase
2-on-1 Handicap match

Early on HHH started against Rhodes, and when backed into their corner, alternated with shots on Dibiase and Rhodes. HHH took it right back at rhodes with a barrage of moves, until Rhodes got in a kick to tag Dibiase. Dibiase met a quick clothesline, but was able to kick a charging HHH in the corner. HHH was able to clothesline Rhodes over the ropes at one point, then tossed Dibiase out onto him.

When Raw returned, HHH was able to get to his feet against Rhodes, but as Rhodes went against the ropes, Dibiase tagged in. Legacy did a high-low to take down HHH, and Dibiase started to stalk him on the mat. Later still, Rhodes distracted the ref while Dibiase choked HHH from the outside. The duo made quick tags in and out to do doubleteam moves.

HHH eventually gained the advantage against Rhodes, and Rhodes tried to crawl back to tag in Dibiase. HHH mustered up strength and ran over to knock Dibiase off the apron. HHH went to the outside and whipped Dibiase into the crowd barrier. Back in the ring, HHH was able to gain control of Rhodes, but Dibiase got back on the apron. HHH whipped Rhodes into him, and then continued the fight on Rhodes. As HHH finally got ready for a Pedigree, Dibiase was quickly back in and hit Dream Street on him. The ref warned Dibiase to leave the ring. Rhodes went for the cover on HHH, with HHH able to kick out at 2.

Rhodes waited for HHH to get up and then hit him with the Cross Rhodes move to plant HHH into the mat. Rhodes made the winning pinfall afterwards.

Winners: Rhodes & Dibiase win via pinfall over Triple H.

After the match, Rhodes & Dibiase went up the ramp pleased with their win. HHH got on the mic and started to groan about losing, questioning if he was that bad. HHH said he's not so good at this gang warfare these days. HHH suggested maybe he needed to start a group or bring one back, like Evolution. HHH nixed that idea saying Batista's hurt, Randy's a jerk and Flair's signing autographs at a VFW. HHH then said maybe he'll just make one phone call and if Legacy's not down with that, he's got "2 words for them...."

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Raw returned with Jeremy Piven backstage with a bunch of the divas on a couch. Chavo Guerrero came in and was starstruck but then misidentified Piven as a few other actors. Piven called him Charro, and said that he put him in a regular match against Hornswoggle tonight that he could win. Chavo was revved up and turned to see Dr. Ken, then thought he was "the guy from Heroes".

Primo vs. Carlito

Early on, Primo took it right at Carlito with kicks and punches near the ropes. Carlito escaped with a kick after coming off the ropes, then tried to toss Primo out of the ring. Primo held onto the ropes and stayed on the apron, then came back to take it at Carlito. At one point, Primo was able to toss Carlito to the outside then ran to jump out onto him.

The match continued on, with Primo able to do a move where he flipped Carlito from his legs across the ring. Carlito got up in the corner, and avoied a charging Primo. Primo hit the ringpost shoulder first. Caralito went for the Backstabber, but Primo reversed into a sunset flip pin. Carlito kicked out, then kicked Primo and finally hit the Backstabber.

Winner: Carlito wins via pinfall over Primo.

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Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

Michael Cole announced that Chavo is 0-4 against Hornswoggle from the various matches they've had. Highlights from last week's Blindfold stipulation match were shown, where Chavo missed on a Frogsplash and then Horney hit the Tadpole Splash.

Before the match could start, Piven came up on the Titantron saying that Hornswoggle can't make it due to adult chicken pox, so instead they substituted in Mark Swoggle. Mark Henry came out wearing a green leprechaun hat, with Chavo looking shocked.

Henry took control from the start and manhandled Chavo. Henry at one point picked up Chavo in his arms and walked around to show off his strength. Henry finally hit World's Strongest Slam to win it. After the match, Henry went to the outside smiling, then pulled up the apron cover and Hornswoggle came out. Hornswoggle started running around Henry, until they finally went into the ring. Horney got on the corner and did his Tadpole Splash down onto Chavo. After that, they celebrated with an Irish jig and then Mark Henry did the heel kick like Hornswoggle does.

Winner: Mark Henry wins via pinfall over Chavo Guerrero.

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Randy Orton payed a visit backstage to Jeremy Piven. Piven offered Orton to be the guest ring announcer for the Cena Lumberjack match, but Orton took exception to that. He ended up going off on Piven and his sidekick, slapping a pacifier out of his hands. Orton stormed out. Dr. Ken told Piven this was fun until now. Piven put his arm around him and said they'd figure this out.

Big Show vs. Kofi Kingston
United States Championship

Big Show came out to the ring with Chris Jericho. Michael Cole and Lawler revealed the results of their WWE.com poll, with 83% of fans voting that Shaq would beat Big Show in a match. Jericho joined Cole and Lawler for commentary.

Show manhandled Kofi Kingston in the ring, as Jericho talked up his partner. Cole said Show was bullying Kofi, and Jericho said he can do whatever he wants at his size. Show delivered hand chops to Kofi in the corner. Kofi tried to kick his way out of the corner, then did a reverse jump but Show caught him for a slam. Show managed a pinfall, with Kofi able to stick a foot on the ropes to stop it. Show continued to punish Kofi and used the ropes to choke him in a Camel Clutch. The ref broke it up. Show got on the corner, but Kofi got up and exploded to kick Show.

Kofi did an impressive series of kicks to take Show down, then did a double leg drop on him off the corner. Show threw Kofi off him during the pin. As Kofi got back up, Show was up and tackled him down. Show started to hammer away on Kofi in the corner, and the ref finally after warning him called for the DQ.

After the bell, Show kept stomping on and beating on Kofi. Jericho got in the ring to applaud his work, then yelled at Kofi that he's nothing compared to Big Show.

Winner: Kofi Kingston wins due to disqualification of Big Show.

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Cole and Lawler revisited the 2-on-1 Handicap match from earlier where Legacy defeated HHH. Cole alluded to the strange comments by HHH after the loss, saying he'd make "one phone call, and if they're not down with that he's got 2 words for..."

Backstage, HHH picked up a phone in the locker room to make "the call". HHH talked to someone about having a job for him, then realized the person was working at a job. HHH said to forget all that because he needs him back. HHH asked the person if he saw what just happened to him, then said he had one question for him "Are you ready?" There was a dialtone indicating the person HHH called hung up on him. HHH hung up looking frustrated.

Another preview clip for "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" was shown.

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Lawler and Cole announced that next week's special guest host will be Sgt. Slaughter.

John Cena vs. The Miz
Lumberjack Match

Jeremy Piven and his sidekick Dr. Ken got on the ramp. Piven said he had news for Cena, that he's a big fan of his, but he's a bigger fan of Randy Orton. Piven said he handpicked the Lumberjacks for tonight. Randy Orton came out next, then motioned backstage for more Lumberjacks. Legacy, Jack Swagger, Chris Masters, Chavo, Carlito, Orton, Piven and his sidekick all surrounded the ring.

Miz took the early opportunity to pound away on Cena, but Cena got out of it. Cena was tossed out and immediately the heel Lumberjacks went after him. Miz got tossed out, but Chavo helped him up to make sure he was ok. At one point, Cena went to the outside where Masters grabbed him in the Masterlock for several minutes to squeeze life out of him. Miz failed at the pin opportunity in the ring.

Cena seemed outnumbered as he was beaten in the ring by Miz, but outside the ring by all the Lumberjack heels. Cena built some momentum with running shoulders on Miz and a backdrop, then went for Five Knuckle Shuffle. As Cena ran to go off the rope, Orton pulled the rope down and Cena fell out of the ring. Orton and Legacy started to beat on him unmercifully, tossing Cena into the steps and crowd barrier. Orton repeatedly stomped away on Cena, and then legacy finally tossed him back in for Miz. Dr. Ken handed a cane to Miz with the ref distracted. Miz came over to try to swing at Cena, but Cena grabbed him and quickly hit Attitude Adjustment for the win.

Legacy tried to rush into the ring with Cena fighting them off. Cena realized he was surrounded. All of a sudden, Jeremy Piven had climbed up on the top turnbuckle and jumped at Cena. Cena caught Piven in the air. As heel Lumberjacks rushed into the ring, Cena used Piven to swing at them and knock them away. Dr. Ken came in and tried to hit Cena with his cane from behind. Dr, Ken tried to pretend he didn't know what happened and hugged Cena for the win. Cena pretended to offer a handshake, but then picked up Dr. Ken and threw him over the top rope onto several heels outside the ring. Orton and Legacy stared down to the ring after what just happened.

Winner: John Cena wins via pinfall over The Miz to banish Miz from Summerslam, Staples Center and WWE Raw.

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