Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Raw Recap 08.13.07

A recap of Raw from New York City:

Raw opened with a replay of highlights including Vince's limo explosion and then his return last week, where Vince said he staged the explosion to see if everyone really cared. The highlights also showed Vince discussing the Congressional committees investigating him, the IRS auditing him, Vince discussing his family and then the bombshell at the end where Coach told Vince he was served with a paternity suit over an illegitimate child.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler discussed tonight's lineup including the Royal Coronation of King Booker and the Cena/Umaga vs Carlito/Orton main event. Superstars from Raw, ECW and Smackdown brands were all shown surrounding the ring as well. Just then, Mr. McMahon's music came on as he came strutting down to the ring.

McMahon said he was shocked last week at the news he has an illegitimate child. Vince said he doesn't even remember who the woman is who this happened with. Vince said this is "sheer extortion" and he can't be intimidated. The crowd began chanting "Who's Your Daddy?". Vince said he was comforted by all the wrestlers/divas around the ring supporting him. Vince asked for the audience's support saying this could happen to any red blooded male. As Vince was ranting on, all of a sudden Stephanie McMahon's music came on, as she came walking down the ramp.

Stephanie asked Vince if he knows what he put her, Shane and Linda McMahon through with the explosion. Stephanie told Vince he was sick for faking his death and then got slapped by a paternity suit. Stephanie said earlier today she came from the plaintiff's attorney's office and found out that Vince's child is one of the superstars standing around the ring. Vince was shocked as he looked around at all the superstars. Stephanie left the ring as Vince dropped the mic to the mat. Vince walked around the ring eyeing the various superstars before he left the ring. Vince stood near Mr Kennedy staring at him, then stared in Mark Henry's face before Vince walked up the ramp.

Footage shown of Lashley discussing his arthoscopic surgery in Alabama last week. Highlights shown of Lashley getting injurred and then having surgery. Dr James Andrews also shown discussing the after surgery success.

Mr. Kennedy came walking down to the ring and grabbed the mic as it dropped down from above. Kennedy was about to yell his name saying he was the one who took out Lashley, when Sandman's music came on. Sandman came walking down to the ring through the crowd carrying his Singapore cane.

Sandman vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy backed Sandman into a corner and taunted him by rubbing his head. Sandman shoved Kennedy away and the two started to grapple in the ring. The two got into a shoving match until Sandman started to hammer away and kick at Kennedy. Sandman used a Russian leg sweep to take down Kennedy, then climbed the ropes. Kennedy ran over and punched him then slammed him off the ropes. Kennedy able to leave Sandman seated in the corner then ran at him and kicked him in the face. Kennedy picked up Sandman in the center of the ring then used his finisher to slam down Sandman for a pinfall victory. After winning, Kennedy took the mic from above and yelled his name twice before he left the ring.

Winner: Mr. Kennedy wins via pinfall over Sandman.

Vince shown backstage ranting to Coach about the news he just got about who his child is. Coach said they could review the list of Raw superstars and figure out who it was based on age. Coach asked Vince when he first became sexually active and Vince said "I was almost a teenager". Coach said the child could be anyone on the roster. Just then a "WOOO!" was heard as Flair showed up behind McMahon. Flair WOO'd 2 more times before the camera cut out.

Highlight reel shown of "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton taking out Shawn Michaels and then Jim Ross mentioned the main event again involving Cena, Umaga vs Carlito/Orton.

WWE Rewind showed a replay of last week's battle royal to determine who would be the new GM of Raw. It came down to Sandman, until Regal snuck back into the ring from outside and eliminated him. Regal became the new GM of Raw.

Lawler said based on the success of last week's Dating Game, tonight there would be "WWE Idol". Regal was shown backstage dressed like Simon Cowell and next to him were JBL and Michael Cole dressed up as Hall and Oates. JBL and Cole began singing awfully and Regal told them they wont be singing for the Idol show. Just then Maria and Ron Simmons walked up to Regal. Regal told Maria she would be a guest judge for the Idol show and that next week her and Simmons would get their big date. Santino Marella came walking up saying there would be no date. He told Regal tonight he would sing a song better than anyone else. Regal said he didnt need more contestants and walked off as Maria then told Santino not to be like that and followed him as he left. Simmons eyed Cole and JBL as they started singing and then yelled "WHAM!" in honor of the 80's group.

Cryme Tyme came out to the ring and began to get the crowd riled up. Cryme Tyme then left the ring and took Lillian's chair and signed it. They started to auction off the chair, then pointed out rapper Bow Wow and singer Omarion in the front row. They ended up selling the chair for $1000 to a man in the front row, as Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch came out for their match. Raw headed to break as JR said the two tag teams would fight next.

Ad shown for Saturday Night Main Event, this Saturday at 11:30PM on NBC.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch

Back from break Murdoch & Cade had Big Chad in the corner of the ring and were doubleteaming him. The tag champs kept Chad isolated and away from the tag to his partner. Chad finally able to escape by running himself with Murdoch into the ring corner. Chad tagged in JTG who went wild running around the ring and knocking down Murdoch/Cade. The ref became distracted momentarily as Big Chad tried to enter the ring. Cade & Murdoch doubleteamed and clotheslined JTG down hard with the ref's back turned. Chad went outside the ring and grabbed the chair from the man they had just sold it to in the crowd. Chad re-entered the ring as his partner was being pinned and smashed the chair down on Murdoch's back. The ref rang the bell for the DQ.

Winners: Cade & Murdoch win due to disqualification on Cryme Tyme

Highlights shown of Randy Orton taking out RVD and then a reminder for the main event for tonight was shown.

Promo ad shown for the "King of Kings" Triple H with various highlights shown and then an announcement that HHH would be back at Summerslam. Immediately after, Jim Ross discussed the Royal Coronation would take place later tonight. Lawler said he was not looking forward to it.

Robbie vs. Snitsky

Snitsky immediately kicked Robbie then clotheslined him down.Snitsky then grabbed Robbie up on 1 shoulder and powerslammed him down for a very quick victory. After the win Snitsky started to beat up Robbie more. Rorie got into the ring to try to intervene, but Snitsky kicked him down hard. Snitsky left the ring with the tag team decimated.

Winner: Snitsky wins via pinfall over Robbie.

Vince and Coach walking in the back halls of the arena. Vince was discussing his various conquests from back in the day. Coach said they could go over a list of all Vince's indiscretions and then figure out for Saturday Night's Main Event who Vince's child is. Just then Cody Rhodes was shown standing nearby. Cody said he knows he's not Vince's son but that he brought a gift for him. Cody put an object in Vince's hand before walking off. Vince opened his hand seeing a condom. Just then, Boogeyman's music came on and he appeared from some crates behind Vince and Coach. Boogeyman started to sing freakishly and then said "I'm the Boogeyman and I'm comin to getcha!" Coach told Vince that Boogeyman appears to have Vince's eyes. Boogeyman laughing maniacally as Vince and Coach left.

WWE Idol

Todd Grisham on the top of the ramp announced WWE Idol. Grisham introduced the celebrity judges, William Regal, WWE Diva Maria who were seated at a WWE idol table in the ring. Todd Grisham then introduced the last judge, Mick Foley who came out from backstage and walked down the ramp to the ring to join the judges.

Grisham introduced the first contestant, Jillian Hall. Jillian appeared at the top of the ramp in a tight pink dress. Jillian began to sing the Broadway show tune "Memories" in her usual tone deaf voice. Mick Foley told Jillian afterwards he was glad he had his ear ripped off. Regal told Jillian to get off the stage immediately after that performance.

Next contestant introduced was Nikolai Volkoff who was with the Iron Sheik and the Fink. The Fink was along with them and asked everyone to rise for Volkoff's Soviet National anthem. Volkoff began sang the anthem as Sheik stood saluting. Foley told Volkoff it was a good performance and he didnt let it affect him when the crowd chanted "USA". Regal told Volkoff he is surprised he didnt lose his voice like the Sheik lost the WWE title here at NY a long time ago. Sheik yelled at Regal how he was part of McMahon's "kiss my ass" club. Regal yelled for security to remove Volkoff and Sheik.

Final contestant came out, Lillian Garcia. Lillian began singing "New York New York" until Santino Marella came to the top of the ramp to interrupt. Marella insulted Lillian saying she was dressed like a prostitute. Lillian stormed off backstage. Santino said he had a song for Maria and began to sing "That's Amore" until Mick Foley interrupted. Foley told Marella watching him sing was almost as bad as watching him wrestle.

Marella told Maria it was time to leave, but Maria said she was still judging. As Marella continued to whine, Ron Simmons then showed up on the top of the ramp with him. Marella asked if Simmons was going to start rhyming and talking like Cookie Monster. As Marella began to laugh at his own jokes, Simmons grabbed Marella and smashed him into the side of ramp entrance. Marella layed out on his back as Simmons picked up a mic saying "DAMN!". Regal said that was music to his ears and announced Simmons as winner of the contest.

Winner: Ron Simmons wins WWE Idol.

Highlights shown of Randy Orton taking out the legendary Dusty Rhodes.

Charlie Haas vs. Cody Rhodes

Early on Haas dropped Rhodes down then tried to run off the ropes. Rhodes with an armbar takedown, then an attempted rollup pin on Haas. Haas regained control, dropping Rhodes near the ropes then kicking him while down on the mat. Haas continued to beat up Rhodes and then put him into a headlock. Haas with a second headlock after a failed pin. Haas then stood up Rhodes and smashed him face first into the turnbuckle. Rhodes tried to gain momentum until Haas knocked him down again and slapped another headlock on.

Rhodes finally able to escape Haas and then lifted him up to drop him on the top rope. Rhodes got up and began to punch away at Haas. Rhodes ducked a clothesline then came off the ropes for a bulldog. Rhodes appeared to injur himself doing the move, but still climbed the ropes. Rhodes jumped off the turnbuckle and splashed onto Haas. After a failed pin the two thought even more until Rhodes was able to roll up Haas and get a surprise pinfall victory. Benjamin ran in the ring to try to attack Rhodes, but Rhodes was able to slide out under the bottom rope.

Winner: Cody Rhodes wins via pinfall over Charlie Haas.

Jim Ross and Lawler discussed the Coronation of King Booker up next as Lawler's music began playing. Lawler said it was time to go get ready and exited his announcer's seat as Raw hit commercial break.

Highlights shown from last week's match of Jerry Lawler vs King Booker, where Queen Sharmelle helped to distract Lawler so Booker could win.

Coronation Ceremony for King Booker

Queen Sharmelle with the mic welcomed everyone to the Coronation Ceremony. Booker took the mic and thanked all his loyal subjects, then demanded that Jerry Lawler place the crown on his head. King hesitated at first, then Booker yelled at him. Lawler picked up a mic and told Booker it's not quite true that he's the only king. Lawler said before he came out to the ring that GM William Regal gave him a note saying Booker would have a match at Summerslam against "this man" as a video came up on the Titantron. A "King of Kings" video played up on of Triple H.

After the video ended, Lawler threw the crown down and began to stomp on it. Just then Booker went at him, but Lawler ducked. Lawler started to beat up Booker until Sharmelle jumped on his back. Booker able to start beating up Lawler in the ring. Booker then knocked Lawler out of the ring and grabbed a small TV off the announce table. Booker smashed the TV across Lawler's forehead knocking him out. Booker then began yelling at Jim Ross asking if he wants some too.

Raw returned from break with Jim Ross discussing a replay of King Booker beating up Jerry Lawler. Todd Grisham had joined Jim Ross at the announce table because Lawler was being attended to backstage. Ross and Grisham then covered the matches set for Summerslam so far.

Footage shown of Randy Orton taking out the legend, Sgt. Slaughter.

Orton came to the ring and talked to the crowd. Orton said John Cena is the longest reigning WWE champ in almost 2 decades. Orton said in less than 2 weeks the storybook tale of John Cena will be over. Orton told the people who dislike Cena that he would be their hero whether they like it or not. Orton told the people who favor John Cena that he will be their worst nightmare. Orton said nothing will stop him at Summerslam from becoming the new champ. Raw headed to break as Grisham and JR said the main event was up next.

John Cena & Umaga vs. Carlito & Randy Orton

Orton waited in the ring as his partner Carlito was introduced. Umaga came out next with his IC title and stared down Orton/Carlito in the ring. Cena came out next and hoisted up his WWE title at the top of the ramp for all to see. Umaga started off against Orton, dropping him down to the mat and clotheslining him off the ropes. Orton and Carlito tried to doubleteam Umaga, but Umaga clotheslined the two down. Cena came into the ring and then they tossed Carlito and Orton out. Umaga and Cena turned and stared at each other as Raw headed to a break.

Raw returned with Cena smashing Carlito into the corner. Cena continued smashing Carlito into the ring corners, then flew at him off the ropes with shoulders. Cena slammed Carlito down center of the ring then stared at Orton. Cena signaled for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle then came off the ropes to punch Carlito in the face. Cena went to do the FU but was close to Orton who saved Carlito by grabbing his legs. Cena turned to go at Orton, but Orton jumped off the apron, allowing Carlito to hit Cena from behind. Carlito knocked Cena to the outside and Orton then hit him out there. Carlito got Cena back into the ring and then tagged in Orton to beat him up.

Orton kept Cena down by kicking him and stomping on his head, then tagged Carlito back in. Carlito with a swinging neckbreaker on Cena and then a failed pin. Carlito tried to keep Cena down with a headlock, but Cena stood up then slammed Carlito back. Cena struggled to get to the ropes and started to make his way to tag Umaga. Carlito tagged in Orton who then came off the ropes to clothesline Cena down. Orton began stomping on Cena's foot. Cena finally escaped by hitting Orton in the knee/leg. Orton tagged Carlito back in who took over on Cena. Carlito began hammering away at Cena then he and Orton doubleteamed Cena in the corner.

Orton kept Cena down on the mat in a headlock until Cena was able to stand up and get out of the hold. Orton punched Cena in the face then threw him to the corner. Cena avoided Orton who ran at him, then Cena ran off the ropes to bulldog Orton down. Orton able to tag Carlito again to take over. Cena able to finally flip Carlito over his back. Cena jumped over and looked like he missed the tag on Umaga. Orton came over and punched Umaga, so Umaga got into the ring. Grisham said the ref was allowing Umaga in so the tag must have been made. Umaga able to shove Orton to the corner, then ran at him and smashed his hip into Orton's head. Carlito tried to jump on Umaga's back for the finisher but just slid off as Umaga turned and looked down at him. Cena then picked up Carlito and was able to "F-U" him down for a pinfall victory. Cena celebrated after the win with Umaga standing in the ring.

Winners: Umaga and John Cena win via pinfall over Randy Orton and Carlito.

Backstage Vince told Coach "thank God this night is over" because it's time to go home. Coach asked if Vince told him about every encounter he's had in his life. Vince said yes and then started to tell Coach about a romp he had with 2 flight attendants back in the day. Just then, Coach told Vince to turn around, as Linda McMahon was shown standing behind him looking angry. Linda told Vince "don't even go there because as of right now you no longer have me".

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget: Vince said he needed to sue Trojan...the Magnum division ;-)

August 13, 2007 at 11:43 PM  

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