Raw Results 04/09/12
Raw Results from Washington, DC:
Raw started out with pyro after Cole and Lawler talked about how the stars of the movie "The Three Stooges" would be guests tonight. John Laurinaitis arrived out with David Otunga to patriotic theme music. Laurinaitis introduced "the new face of WWE," after showing the highlight video from last week's Raw where Cena was attacked by Brock Lesnar. Laurinaitis said Brock Lesnar will face John Cena at Extreme Rules 2012 and bring legitimacy back to WWE. JL applauded after handing the mic over to Lesnar. Lesnar said he wanted to thank JL for bring legitimacy bak to WWE.
Brock got about one sentence out before John Cena's music hit to bring Cena down the ramp smiling as he interrupted Lesnar. Cena said without a mic "I never got to thank you for last week." He walked up to Brock and slapped him in the face. Brock tackled Cena down to the mat and started punching away. This brought out a slew of WWE officials, and just about every superstar from backstage. As they got restrained, the camera showed Cena smiling with a mouth full of blood.
Several times, either Lesnar or Cena broke away from the pack to attack the other in an all-out brawl. Finally, a bunch of stars including Regal, Daniel Bryan, and Mark Henry restrained Brock against the crowd barrier. Brock started to walk away, as Raw went to commercial break. Cena was still smiling, but bloodied up. (See a photo of Cena's busted up lip from WNS)
Backstage after commercial break, Laurinaitis screamed at Teddy Long for not restraining John Cena and causing what happened out there. He demanded that Long go talk to Cena and get an explanation. Long left the scene, and Eve showed up and Laurinaitis told her things are a little hectic. He suggested a one-on-one meeting in Stanford. Eve said he has her number and told him to call her.
Santino Marella and Brodus Clay defeated Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler by pinfall. Late in the match, Santino escaped from Ziggler and made a hot tag to Clay. Clay clotheslined and headbutted Ziggler down multiple times, then threw him in a slam, before a huge splash for the pinfall win. Clay, Marella and the backup dancers danced in the ring to celebrate.
The Miz talked to Laurinaitis backstage, with JL saying he has big plans for Miz and they'll talk next week. Long came in after Miz left with Laurinaitis asking where he's been. Long apologized, just as Cena walked up. His face was still busted up, and Cena said if he wanted legitimacy, he's got it. Cena said he likes to hit and be hit. He said Laurinaitis is trying to put him out of business with Lesnar at Extreme Rules. He told him if he wants legit, he can pick his opponent for tonight. Cena left, and Laurinaitis told Long to go tell Otunga he's facing Cena tonight.
Santino was shown going around backstage asking wrestlers and WWE personnel if they've seen The Three Stooges anywhere. Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks said they haven't and they don't care.
After break, Santino was still looking for Three Stooges still. He walked out a door and saw Kane standing there. Kane didn't respond when asked if he knew where they were. Santino took off running down the hall.
R-Truth defeated Cody Rhodes by pinfall. While Rhodes was in control, Big Show arrived out on the stage in a suit. A video clip of Big Show costing Rhodes the match last week by showing him getting KO'd at WM28 showed up on the Titantron. The distraction allowed Truth to surprise Rhodes with the Little Jimmy for the win.
Santino finally found the Three Stooges backstage, after opening a huge crate that said "FRAGILE" on it. The segment had a variety of slapstick moments with the stooges and Santino slapping and hitting each other. Moe asked Santino to show him The Cobra, and Moe made a variation called "The Moe-bra" where he poked Curly in the eyes. Santino said he can't wait to see what they've got in store for the live audience.
Shanon & Marc Parker of SyFy's "Dream Machines" were shown in the Raw audience.
Lord Tensai defeated Yoshi Tatsu by referee's decision. Tensai squashed Yoshi hitting all sorts of power moves including a Powerbomb towards the end. He was going to do another move but the ref backed him away and determined Yoshi was KO'd. After the match, Tensai spit some sort of mist or spew onto his hand and then put the claw on Yoshi's head to further incapacitate him. Chants of "Al-bert" were heard during the match.
Cole and Lawler noted that 30 wounded warriors are in attendance in DC tonight to see Raw. Cole brought up last week's attack by Jericho on CM Punk, then fed to the video footage of Y2J smashing the bottle on his head.
Punk arrived out ahead of his match with Mark Henry to cut a promo about Chris Jericho. He talked about how he's always kept his reasons for being Straight Edge private, but Jericho came along and took things too far. Punk mentioned how he made Jericho tap out at Mania, but Jericho took things to another level last week.
Punk brought up how he had just one thought in his mind as he was in and out of consciousness last week - that he smelled exactly like his father did. Punk fought back tears and paused near the ropes.
Jericho showed up on the Titantron and worked the alcoholic edge, saying Punk needs to start with the 12 steps, and admit he's in denial of his issues. Jericho said the fans don't see the champ or best in the world, they see a pathetic, living, breathing, loser. Jericho called him "CM Drunk" saying he forced him to see that for the first time ever.
Punk said Jericho made a mistake by summoning up these demons and bad emotions. Punk said it's no longer about being best in the world, it's now about kicking his ass. Jericho disappeared from the Titantron, and Mark Henry came out for the match.
Mark Henry defeated CM Punk due to disqualification. During the match, Henry knocked Punk to the outside. Punk went over to the announce table and grabbed a TV monitor, and then smashed it onto Henry causing the DQ.
Post-match, Punk got on the apron ready to jump off with the monitor at Henry. Just then, Jericho's music hit and he arrived out on stage with several cases of beer in hand. Mark Henry gained control against Punk and got him in the ring to hit World's Strongest Slam.
Jericho waited for Henry to leave then got in with a case of beer. He opened a box of it, and then brought out a can. Before Jericho could pour it on him, Punk attacked and tackled Jericho down. However, Jericho responded with the Codebreaker to take Punk out. From there, he poured several cans of beer on Punk in the ring, yelling at him. Jericho yelled "have another drink, this one's for your father! Want another one? Drink it in!" Finally several referees ogt in the ring to get Jericho out of there. Punk managed to get to his feet, stumbling and holding the ropes. He tried to go at Jericho, but he gave him another Codebreaker. Jericho grabbed the WWE belt to pose with it to close the segment out.
Alberto Del Rio defeated Zack Ryder by submission. Late in the match, Ryder got the Broski boot on Del Rio in the corner. Ryder went for Rough Ryder, but Del Rio avoided it and tossed Ryder into the corner turnbuckle. From there, Del Rio managed to lock in the Crossbar Arm submission hold.
The Three Stooges were walking down the back hallway still trying to come up with an idea. Moe slapped the other two in the faces, and then Curly said he finally had an idea and would meet them out there. Moe grabbed Larry by the nose and led him down the hall.
John Cena will appear on an upcoming episode of "Dream Machines" on SyFy. The first-ever episode will appear tomorrow night after Smackdown live on SyFy.
Moe and Curly came down to the ring. They were asking where Larry was and then Hulk Hogan's music hit. Out came Larry dressed up as Hulkster in the red and yellow gear. He was talking like Larry in the ring, and then Moe hit Larry on the tongue. From there, he started talking in a Hulkster voice to deliver a promo to see their movie this Friday. Suddenly, pyro exploded from the entrance, bringing Kane down to the ring. The stooges all started cowering around the ring, with Moe and Curly hiding behind Larry. Moe and Curly took off running up the ramp after Kane made the pyro explode from the ringposts. Larry tried to summon up the Hulkamania with various trademark moves, but ended up getting chokeslammed.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Mark Henry about what happened in the CM Punk match earlier. Henry said last week he beat Punk by countout, and this week by DQ. He said after talking to John Laurinaitis he's got a No DQ, No countout match next week, so that means you're looking at the new champion.
Josh Matthews interviewed Brock Lesnar backstage asking if he was proud to be back in WWE. Lesnar said he left the company 8 years ago after bringing the WWE to new heights. He said he made it in UFC, and he's proud of it. Brock said he's an ass kicking machine but he's not as proud as all these suits and all the fans are to have him back.
Cole and Lawler fed to a video package about Triple H vs Undertaker at Wrestlemania 28 with various WWE stars discussing it. They included John Cena, Randy Orton, William Regal, and CM Punk.
John Cena defeated David Otunga by submission. Otunga had control for a while as Laurinaitis watched from a leather chair near ringside. Cena got momentum back and started his move set including Five Knuckle Shuffle after pointing to Laurinaitis. Cena finished with the Attitude Adjustment and then STF to make Otunga tap out. Cena made sure Laurinaitis was watching as he hit each move.
Post-match, Cena was celebrating the victory for a few seconds, but then Brock Lesnar rushed into the ring and kicked Cena's leg out. Lesnar backed up laughing, and then moments later hit another F5 on Cena to leave him layed out in the ring. Laurinaitis applauded from ringside. Lesnar left the ring and went up the ramp smirking, before turning back to admire his handiwork. Cena tried to get up in the ring as Raw ended.