Raw recap from Buffalo, NY:
Raw started off with an "Earlier tonight" showing Mr. McMahon walking in the back garage of the arena. Coach came up to Vince, welcoming him back. Vince said tonight he wants "every WWE superstar under contract in the ring when they go live" Vince said as a citizen of the US he intends to express his freedom of expression.
After the fireworks went off, Jim Ross talked about Vince being back as every WWE wrestler and diva from backstage began walking down to the ring. Just about everyone from the Raw roster filed into the ring except for Orton and Cena. Mr. McMahon's music came on as Vince came from backstage onto the ramp with a mic in hand.
Vince told everyone they will begin where they left off, with the limo explosion on Raw when he was blown to smithereens. Footage shown of Vince entering the lim as it exploded. Vince said that's the way he wants to go out "in a blaze of glory". Vince said many would ask "why would you stage your own demise?" Vince said he needed to know if everyone really cared. Vince said he's a sensitive human being who needs positive reinforcement, and the outpouring of sympathy and concern he got was overwhelming. Vince said he has to address many topics, including "US Congress". the hypocrisy of the news media, and certain individuals from his immediate family. Vince said first he needs to address the wrestlers in the ring. Just then Coach came out onto the ramp and stood next to Vince.
Vince said in just a moment the bell will ring and they will have a battle royal with everyone in the ring. Vince said the winner of the battle royal becomes the new General Manager of WWE Raw. Coach looked at Vince, shocked, as Vince said to ring the bell. Everyone in the ring started fighting as the divas took off up the ramp.
Battle Royal to determine GM of RAW
All the men in the ring began fighting ferociously, with Umaga eliminating 3 men quickly. Sandman able to eliminate Booker over the top rope, right in front of Jerry Lawler at the announcers' table. Umaga then tossed Big Chad from Cryme Tyme out of the ring. Lawler said Umaga has to be the favorite here. Raw went to commercial with at least 10 men still in the ring fighting, including Umaga, Regal, Carlito, Hacksaw and Sandman.
Raw returned with the battle royal still going. Everyone except Carlito began to gang up on Umaga. Carlito stood back watching as they tried to push Umaga over the ropes, but Umaga able to escape. Umaga knocked Lance Cade down with a solid punch. Val Venis able to eliminate Cade over the ropes. Venis then tried to fight Umaga, who tossed Vince over the ropes. Val landed on the apron but Umaga punched him off, eliminating him. Umaga clotheslined Brian Kendrick but fell out of the ring with him. Just then Mr. Kennedy was tossed out. Hacksaw was one of the next out.
The match came down to 4 with Shelton Benjamin, Cody Rhodes, Carlito and Sandman. Rhodes began to punch away at Benjamin as Carlito worked on Sandman. Rhodes with some high flying moves off the ropes. Benjamin tossed him over the ropes but Rhodes hung on and got back in the ring. Shelton then used a strong kick to Rhodes knocking him down. Carlito picked up Rhodes and tossed him over the ropes. Sandman climbed the top turnbuckle. Carlito went up after him but got shoved off. Just then Shelton ran up to the top and suplexed Sandman down to the mat hard. Shelton and Benjamin remained on their backs as Carlito got up. Benjamin and Carlito went over the top rope onto the side apron, battling.
Sandman got up and saw the 2 men fighting. Sandman ran over and clotheslined both wrestlers off, eliminating them. Sandman raised his arms up thinking he won the GM of Raw position. Just then William Regal slid back under the ropes and into the ring behind him. Ross and Lawler asked where he came from. Regal grabbed Sandman and tossed him over the ropes, then was pronounced the winner of the match. Regal celebrated in the ring as symphony music played. A replay showed Regal had left the match under the bottom rope, appearing to have hurt his leg. JR said Regal may have been faking the injury while the match went on.
Winner: William Regal wins the battle royal and becomes the new General Manager of Raw
When Raw returned from break Ross and Lawler replayed the battle royal outcome and aftermath showing Regal sneak back into the ring to toss Sandman out.
Backstage, Coach was complaining to Vince about Regal becoming the new GM because he's not even a US citizen. Vince told Coach he was more upset about 2 Congressional committees investigating WWE because they seem like Barney Fife doing this job. Vince asked why they need 2 congressional committees to investigate WWE. Vince discussed history and Ben Franklin standing up for rights. Vince told Coach to not worry about his job. Vince said he could be an assistant for Regal who likes Earl Grey tea.
Promo shown for HHH's return at Summerslam.
Backstage, Todd Grisham interviewed King Booker with Queen Sharmelle. Todd started off asking him about Triple H the "King of Kings". Booker said HHH is a punk just like his opponent tonight, Jerome Lawler. Booker said he will prove there is just one form of royalty on Raw, King Booker. Booker said next week there will be a special ceremony where the loser of tonight's match will have to put the crown on the winning king's head. Booker said he is the true King of Kings. Queen Sharmelle then said "all hail King Booker!"
Rory of the Highlanders vs. Snitsky
Rory tried to kick Snitsky, but Snitsky tossed him to the ropes then clotheslined him down hard. Snitsky with a powerslam from his shoulder and an immediate pin to capture the victory. Snitsky then stood over his fallen opponent menancingly before he left the ring. Robbie got into the ring seeming to talk to his partner angrily about losing so quick.
Winner: Snitsky wins via pinfall over Rory.
Vince backstage talking to a WWE staff member. Coach came running up and said Regal was in the shower when a call came through for Vince on Coach's cell. Coach told Vince it's his accountant. Vince took the cell phone and said "you're kidding me" and "i dont care open them all up we have nothing to hide, let them audit every single thing time we have". Vince said "they are gonna wind up owing me money". Coach asked Vince what that was about, and Vince said the IRS is investigating Vince. Vince said the media will have a field day with this one. Vince told Coach there's no difference between media and WWE, because both are "in the entertainment business". VInce said you could roll it all together into one big show. As Vince exited with Coach, a man sitting and reading a newspaper was shown. The man lowered the paper and it was Irwin R Scheister, wrestler IRS, looking on.
Jillian Hall
Jillian got into the ring wearing a microphone headset saying in honor of Summerslam they need to kick this party off. Jillian asked Lillian about her new album, Lillian said the Spanish title and it translates to "I Want to Live" in English. Jillian asked the crowd if they wanted to hear a new song by Lillian. The crowd cheered for it, but Jillian said "no they want to hear me". Jillian then began singing in her tone deaf style, until Mickie James came out interrupting for their match.
Jillian attacked Mickie James at the bell, then held Mickie's arms behind her back to keep her seated on the mat. Mickie flipped Jillian over her back then got to the corner. When Jillian came at her Mickie was able to jump up and get her in a head scissors move. Mickie took control from here, eventually landing a neckbreaker. Jillian kicked out of a pin at 2. Mickie continued to dominate and climbed the top rope with Jillian down. Jillian rolled under the bottom rope then waited for Mickie to come at her on the apron. Jillian snapped Mickie's head down against the ropes, then finished her off with a neckbreaker for the pinfall victory.
Winner: Jillian wins via pinfall over Mickie James.
Backstage Coach congratulated William Regal on becoming the new GM. Regal thanked him and called him the assistant. Coach corrected him saying "executive assistant". Regal said now that he's GM, he always wanted to be the host of a live game show. Regal said they would be doing a new version of his favorite game show "The Dating Game". Regal told Coach to round up contestants and a set for the show. Regal added in for Coach to get him some Earl Grey tea as Coach exited.
Reply shown of Carlito spitting an apple in Cena's face after beating him on Raw last week. Jim Ross said Carlito's Cabana featuring John Cena would be up next.
Promo ad shown for Summerslam with various superstar highlights. Summerslam is 3 weeks away.
Carlito's Cabana w/Guest John Cena
Carlito got into the ring full of a cabana hanging on the ring posts and chairs and trees. Carlito said things went so well last week he would have the same guest as last week, John Cena. Cena made his way down to the ramp and got into the ring and stared straight in Carlito's face. Cena shoved Carlito down so he was sitting in one of the chairs. Cena then took the mic to talk.
Cena welcomed the crowd to "Carlito's Cabana" and said tonight this is a special show called "Cena's Cabana" with Cena as host. Cena said Huey Lewis and the news would be there later. Cena said the first guest would be current champ "John Cena". Cena then did an interview with himself, back and forth as host and interviewee. Cena said he is "pissed after last week when an apple was spit in his face". Cena had them roll footage on the Titantron of last week's match with Carlito, Orton interfered and distracted Cena allowing Carlito to score the pinfall win. After the win, Carlito spit out chewed apple into Cena's face after the win. Cena then spoke about Randy Orton who has been ending careers, making statements and who believes after Summerslam he will be the new WWE champion. Cena said "the champ is here!" and then as host said "catch John Cena each week on Raw and in 3 weeks on Summerslam".
Cena said it is now time for the Cabana's Top 3. Tonight he would give the Top 3 reasons to trash the cabana and beat the hell out of Carlito:
Reason #3: Cena held up a drink in a coconut mug and said "these are the only nuts Carlito will ever have".
Reason #2: Cena said in real life "Carlito doesn't like apples or spitting them out, he'd rather swallow a banana". Carlito angrily stood up and got in Cena's face.
Reason #1: Cena said because "that my friend is cool" and began to beat up Carlito.
Cena knocked Carlito to the mat, pounding on him. As Cena was attacking Carlito, Randy Orton hopped over the crowd barrier and snuck into the ring. Cena saw Orton get in the ring and went at him. Orton came at Cena and tried for the RKO. Cena shoved Orton against the ropes and Orton quickly exited the ring to retreat. Cena then picked up Carlito on his shoulders and stared out at Orton before he did the "F U" on Carlito in the ring. Cena took his shirt off and then taunted Orton who stood on the ramp.
Just then, William Regal came onto the ramp and told Cena he is glad he's ready for a fight tonight. Regal then told Carlito and Orton to get themselves ready because they would decide amongst themselves who should be Cena's opponent tonight. Regal said he wants an answer from them soon as Raw headed to commercial.
September issue of WWE magazine shown with Triple H as guest editor and cover of the magazine in a Terminator costume.
Replay shown of what just occurred in the ring with Cena, Carlito and Orton. Ross discussed how Cena made a statement to Orton F-Uing Carlito in front of him.
Backstage, Regal asked Carlito and Randy Orton who should face Cena. Orton said that he has the chance to face Cena at Summerslam and Carlito beat Cena last week. Carlito said they came up with the idea of having the IC Champ Umaga face Cena on tonight in the main event. Regal told them it was a brilliant idea as they left.
Vince McMahon was sitting near the men and asked Regal to sit down on a couch with him. Vince told Regal not everyone was concerned about his alleged demise, most importantly his family. Vince said his son Shane was MIA after the demise of Vince and his daughter Stephanie was seen meeting with lawyers about collecting on insurance and inheritance money. Vince said he also knows his wife was being consoled by Basil Devito a longtime faithful employee of the WWE. Vince said he needs a way to bring his family back together. Vince said despite the pressure on him, he needs to do this and bring the goodness of Mr McMahon out. Vince told Regal nothing can stop us. The audience was heard applauding in the arena.
Jerry Lawler vs. King Booker (to determine King)
Lillian Garcia announced this match will decide who is coronated at a special ceremony on next week's Raw in Madison Square Garden. Ross went over a replay of what happened last week between Lawler and Booker in their match, with Lawler winning and attacking Booker on the ramp after the match ended.
Booker backed Lawler into a corner early attacking him with punches. Booker and Lawler punched back and forth in the ring corner. Booker tried to hold Lawler in a hammerlock, but Lawler escaped and came off the ropes to attack Booker. Booker able to kick Lawler in the gut and then chest chop him. Booker knocked King to the mat with a righthand punch. Booker dropped Lawler's neck against the top rope. Booker dominated Lawler from here, scoring a strong kick to Lawler's head as he tried to stand up. Booker continued to knock Lawler around and tried for a pin. Lawler able to kick out at 2. Booker kept Lawler seated down on the mat in a hold.
Lawler able to stand up and tried for a dropkick at Booker, but Booker avoided it as Lawler fell to the mat. Lawler again tried to grab momentum punching Booker near the ropes. Booker grabbed Lawler's trunks and pulled him through the ropes. Booker went out of the ring after him. Both men fought outside the ring. As Lawler started to get in the ring from the apron, Queen Sharmelle distracted him. Lawler looked at her from the side apron then got into the ring. Just as he entered, Booker ran over and did his finisher kick to Lawler's head. With Lawler down, Booker picked up the win. JR said he can only imagine what Jerry Lawler is thinking now after losing the match, having to crown Booker next week in the ring.
Winner: King Booker wins via pinfall over Jerry Lawler. Lawler must officially crown Booker in the ring at a coronation ceremony on next week's Raw.
Mr. Kennedy shown walking backstage. Jim Ross said the man who injured Bobby Lashley would be coming to the ring to speak, next.
Replay shown of last Monday's Raw match between Lashley and Mr. Kennedy. Lashley injured his shoulder when Kennedy kicked him against the steel steps, then repeatedly attacked him. Kennedy scored a pinfall win due to exploiting Lashley's injury. JR said Lashley has a torn rotator cuff and will have surgery in Birmingham AL tomorrow. Ross said he expects WWE.com to update everyone on the surgery.
Mr. Kennedy came down to the ring gloating. Kennedy grabbed the microphone which dropped from above as the lights dimmed. Kennedy told the crowd that what Lashley is hearing right now is something everyone else will be hearing for a long time:
"Kennedy!........Kennedy!.......Kennedy!...........Kennedy!............Kennedy!....." Raw went to commercial break as Mr. Kennedy continued to yell his last name out.
Backstage, Orton and Carlito were trying to get Umaga riled up for his match against Cena. They told Umaga to break Cena. Ross said the main event would be later on tonight on Raw.
WWE Dating Game hosted by GM Regal
William Regal in the ring at a podium said he was honored to present the dating game. He said tonight a WWE diva would win a date with a superstar. Regal introduced the 3 contestants for the game show, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Ron Simmons and Santino Marella. Hacksaw said he was ready with his "big piece of wood". Ron Simmons exclaimed "DAMN!" and Regal said "I didn't see that one coming". Santino Marella wearing an arm sling said "I'm in lots of pain".
Regal introduced their lovely diva who loves walks on the beach, sunsets and Rainbow Brite, Maria. Maria came down to the ring in a tight pink and black dress, Maria sat in a chair next to Regal with the 3 wrestlers behind a screen so Maria could not see them.
Maria asked each man a question, but Santino interrupted and told Maria it was him behind the screen. Maria told him "thats the worst Santino impression i've ever heard". Maria continued with the game show, but Marella became upset. Hacksaw and Santino got into each other's faces, but Regal yelled for them to shutup. Regal asked Maria to make her choice. Maria said she likes the strong silent type, so she chose Bachelor #2, Ron Simmons. The crowd cheered her choice and seemed to enjoy Simmons' answers to her questions which each rhymed with "DAMN!".
Ron Simmons ran out and hugged Maria as the winner. Santino told them to stop with this. Marella came up and asked Maria what she was doing and said Simmons was a creep. Simmons told Marella "SCRAM!". Marella told Simmons he is leaving with Maria and nobody can stop him. Just then Umaga interrupted as his music came on. Umaga came walking down to the ring for his match with Cena up next, as everyone scrambled to run out of the ring.
Winner: Ron Simmons wins a date with Maria from the WWE Dating Show.
Backstage, Coach was sitting on a couch. A man entered the office and said he had documents for Mr. McMahon. The man told Coach he had a summons for Mr. McMahon, which Coach signed for. Coach took the paperwork out and started to look it over. Coach looked over the paperwork, shook his head and said "I gotta go find Mr McMahon".
John Cena vs. Umaga
Umaga ran at Cena in the corner, then chopped him down to the mat. Umaga started to dominate Cena tossing him around the ring. Umaga stood up Cena and headbutted him. Umaga continued beating up Cena in the ring. A loud "Cena sucks" chant was heard just as Cena reversed and grabbed some momentum. Umaga was able to score a flying kick on Cena, knocking him out of the ring. Raw hit commercial.
When Raw returned, Umaga and Cena were on their feet in the center of the ring. Umaga tried to overpower Cena, but Cena escape and ducked a clothesline. Despite getting Umaga on his shoulders for the "F U", Umaga's weight was too much and he fell on Cena. Cena started to hold his neck as if he were injured near the ropes as he lay on the mat.
Umaga jumped off the ropes at Cena, but Cena rolled away. Cena then grabbed Umaga in the STFU submission hold and kept it locked in with Umaga looking to be in pain. As Umaga was about to tap, Orton and Carlito came running down to the ring. Orton and Carlito doubleteam attacked Cena as the ref called for the bell. The 2 wrestlers beat up Cena and left him sitting in the corner. Orton and Carlito went over and helped Umaga get to his feet and told him to rush Cena in the corner with his hip splash. Umaga looked at both men and then surprisingly hit Orton, knocking Orton out of the ring. Next Umaga used a superkick to Carlito's chin/face, knocking Carlito into a corner, sitting. Umaga then looked at both Carlito and Cena seated in adjacent ring corners. Umaga decided to run at Carlito. Carlito saw the Bulldozer coming and quickly rolled out of the ring.
Regal came out to interrupt the brawl and announced that next week Cena and Umaga would team up to face Orton and Carlito in a tag match. Just then Cena ran up the ramp chasing Orton backstage. Umaga then saw Carlito and chased him up the ramp too.
Winner: John Cena wins due to disqualification, when Carlito and Randy Orton interfered in the match.
Vince McMahon shown backstage walking past a line of Raw superstars. He stopped at Paul London and said "keep that smile on your face". Vince exited the arena in a moment of deja vu, similar to weeks ago when his limo exploded. Vince walked through a wet parking lot and turned back to look at the arena. Vince walked up to a white limousine and began to get inside. Coach ran up before Vince could close the door.
Coach yelled "No No No" and told Vince he needs to read the summons that just came in. Vince stood up from out of the limo and yelled at Coach for reading his summons. Vince asked Coach to tell him the news. Coach said the state of Connecticut is serving Vince with a paternity suit for an illegitimate child he sired. Vince turned away looking upset. Coach said there may be another member of the McMahon family running around somewhere out there. Raw left with Vince standing next to the white limo, looking shaken up.
Labels: Carlito, Coach, Divas, Jillian Hall, John Cena, Lillian Garcia, Mickie James, Mr. Kennedy, RAW Recap, Umaga, Vince Death, Vince McMahon, WWE Divas, WWE Recap, WWE Recaps
Yes Santa there really is a Jillian Hall Christmas album for you to deliver. Well really it's a digital download album, but it does exist. Many fans may have taken this for a joke on Raw last night, and still should, but Jillian Hall actually has a 5 song EP. A Jingle With Jillian was released on iTunes Tuesday 12/11/07. It's available for $4.95 and you get 5 Christmas "songs", which are performed by the diva. Or you can buy your favorite individual "songs" from it for 99 cents a piece. Use the term "song" very loosely though, as fans of the holiday may be offended by Jillian's versions of the timeless classics.
